Dating Finnish guys, or hopefully, dating a Finnish man, is potentially miraculous! Are you dreaming of a relationship with him but have no idea how to proceed?
Thanks to the mighty internet and due to my natural background (aka one Finnish lady is greeting you here behind her laptop), I am here to help.
Psst… Add more Finland to your life and follow me on Instagram!
Fear not, as I have a lot of experience of Finnish men and know what I am talking about! Errr… that sentence sounded so much better and less misinterpretable in my head.
Anyway, here’s what I’m going to cover in this post.
Table of Contents
The Best Guide to Dating Finnish Guys
Yes, I very humbly named this post because let’s face it, there isn’t much stuff around about this topic.
A small disclaimer, though. Finnish girls don’t understand Finnish guys completely, either.
I feel that some of the challenges are cultural but other challenges are basic struggles in any relationship.
That being said, I cannot but agree that sometimes the cultural differences are very big.
So, let’s try to see things from his perspective before you jump to conclusions. I’m the first one to admit, that sometimes that jump is faster than lightning. (And here special thanks go to my hubby who has to live with me 24/7!)
How to get Started with Dating a Finnish Guy?
Okay, here is the bad news. In most cases, you must be quite active. If you are waiting for your Finnish prince to realize with intuitive clues that you are into him, he won’t understand them.
Here are some helpful opening lines for you:
- Hei! What’s the best beer to drink here?
- Hei! Do we go to the same gym/class/school?
Note that he could just reply with a yes or no. That’s normal in Finland. Try next a question which cannot be answered with a yes or no. Like:
- What’s your favorite thing to do in this city?
- Could you recommend me some Finnish food to try?
You can do this girl!
What’s it Like to Date a Finnish Guy?
Since I’m talking about Finnish men, it made total sense to do a tutorial video about this topic with a Finnish guy!
So, without further ado, here is Aleksi. He is one tall, handsome and smart Finnish vlogger. Many of his hilarious (and true!) videos are about Finnish culture. You can subscribe to his videos here.
Check our video to learn what’s it like to date a Finnish guy and, in detail, what mistakes to avoid when dating a Finnish guy!
How to connect with the finns
Understand Finns even better and build relationships with confidence. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Five Tips to Remember when Dating a Finnish man
Okay, so now we have heard it from a Finnish guy!
Here are my girly tips to help you not to stress about the situation. Finnish guys are adorable.
He wants to get to know you
A Finnish man doesn’t carry a big cultural expectation about how a woman should be. In Finland, women can be whatever and live however they choose. Personally, I feel the only boundaries are those which we women make to ourselves.
So share your dreams and goals of life. Tell him your bad habits (picking your nose, having a specific place for everything in the dishwasher, etc.). He wants to get to know the real you and all sides of you!
Suggest things
Be proactive. You are two individuals with minds full of ideas, so don’t make him always take the initiative. In Finnish, we have an adjective called “perässä vedettävä.” It describes something or someone who is pulled along behind like a trailer is towed by a car.
You don’t want to be his trailer; you want to be in the car, making the journey together.
Don’t mope
It is exhausting and annoying to be even in the same room with a sulking person. It just completely sucks all energy out of you.
For some reason, we ladies (and yes, I also include us Finnish women) are the experts in this field. As moping is a colossal turn-off, talk the situation through or opt for some me-time and come back spirits lifted.
Be genuinely interested
Ask about his background, traditions, and hobbies. Even better, if you want to try some of the things he loves.
For example, a Finnish man may have a close relationship with nature. It might be important for him to fish and hike in the wilderness.
Even though this might be a little strange or even scary to you, see if you enjoy it too. In the worst case scenario, you are a bit bored but get a nice dose of fresh air.
Many other nationalities must feel that Finns are quiet and reserved. It is as genuine and inbuilt cultural norm as the total opposite of being a very talkative, loud and touchy person. Neither style is wrong.
Most of us Finns have a need for space and silence, also within our families.
I know many Finnish couples who meet each other’s families very rare, maybe a couple of times a year.
Blending into a more communal culture can be quite a shock for a Finn. Showing support is the best thing you can do.
The Last Thing You Need to Know about Dating Finnish Guys
In some countries, girls are taught that they may meet the man of their dreams on whatever quick visit to the store. Thus, they are always prepared and dressed to kill when they go outside.
In Finland, girls are taught the following: The man of your dreams will probably see you in horrible influenza, when you are too drunk and when you are delivering his babies.
What I am trying to say here is that a Finnish man will, for sure, love you without any makeup or a fancy wardrobe. Most Finnish men say that their ladies are the most beautiful when they are coming from a sauna, all fresh and rosy-cheeked.
Long Distance Dating
Even if you are not together physically for a portion of your relationship, most of these tips will still apply to dating a Finnish man. Long distance relationships are hard, and often need a tiny spark to keep it alive.
My friend Jasmin has created incredible virtual date night packages to help couples in long distant relationships. I have been in a long distant relationship with a Finnish man in the past and a solution like this would have worked wonders for us.
Keep in mind that when you suggest this to your Finnish partner that, culturally, they may not be accustomed to a scheduled or creative date. Encourage them to keep an open mind and enjoy a new type of romance during your virtual date night.
Hey, are you looking for more relationship related information about us Finns? Check out some of the other posts:
- 10 Reasons to Love a Finnish Man
- Finland Dating Guide: the ABC of Finnish Dating Culture
- 10 Reasons to Love a Finnish Woman
- Learn the Secret of Making Finnish Friends
- 5 Reasons Why Finnish In-Laws are Awesome
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About Varpu
I’m the founder of Her Finland. I love cultural tidbits, aha moments, Finnish folklore, and cinnamon buns. My newest interest is learning bird songs. Read more about me..
Sof
Monday 1st of January 2024
Hey. I hope you still read the comments and I will get the reply since I am pretty curious. I met a Fin guy on an online app and we started talking for some weeks. I live in Estonia, and he lives in Fin. I am kinda interested in moving to Fin, but never knew how to proceed. My parents are located there too, so I time to time go there. It was all discussed with the guy and I appeared in Fin for Xmas and he offered to meet, so we did. He knew that I leaving if some days and asked me quite straight questions of how would I see in theory the development of relationship with Fin in case we live in different countries, etc. He also added that his plans are not to leave Fin anytime soon and that he would prefer to have a gf in Fin. I replied that we would need to know each other better and in any case since I've been travelling seven seas for me the distance Estonia-Fin is like taking a cab. After the first date he invited me to his place to see his lifestyle and get know each other better. These two dates we were chatting for around 12 h in total before actually something more connecting happened spontaneously for both of us. It was very beautiful moment and we both were quite supportive and delicate to each other. And it looked that he had a connection and feelings towards me. Everything was in sort of hurry and we kinda didn't discuss some topics before my leave. We didn't exchange if we would see each other again or if he would like to come and visit me next time. He asked me before about my plans of moving in or coming the next time and I replied smth that I don't yet know, etc, since it is unclear for me still. When I made it back I have noticed that he pulled away in a way of communication and volume of texting. We discuss a bit what happened in a nice way, but nothing that romantic and that we would plan smth for the nearest future. I am a bit confused now and this probably looks like he's holding back the feelings, or he is insecure or it is too much for him this kind of adventure (since he barely left Fin and all his gf were Finns). So, I am not sure if it is a Finns trade and how would it be better for me to act. I already was quite open in texting sharing and explaining some things showing my interest and that I am here to discuss things, he was replying too, but seemed closed. It is all a bit sad cuz he was nice, gentlemen and pro active at the beginning and I saw his interest and that we can be a good match.
Gayle_PH
Tuesday 18th of April 2023
The hardest thing I know about myself is that it's really hard for me to say I love you to someone. But when I meet Juss on an online dating app, I can't help but say that magic word to him. But he will just reply to me with an emoticon, hahaha. I totally understand him, and I've been trying lately; he just can't reciprocate any love online. I do like him, the way he treats his little squad at home, and how he radiates calmness into my life. But it's too hard right now because of the distance we have.
Yes, Varpu! If I were wealthy, I would travel to Finland just to be with Juss.
Brenda Costa
Friday 13th of January 2023
Hi, which dating site do you recommend for someone who is 50 plus? I am a woman
Varpu
Monday 16th of January 2023
Hi Brenda, thank you so much for your question. Most dating sites are in Finnish or can require a Finnish phone number, for example. Would those things be a challenge for you? Tinder is the most international with logging etc.. of the sites/apps.
Finnla
Wednesday 2nd of December 2020
Hey! I'm trying to get a Finnish man but he doesn't seem to have any interest in me, I was wondering if maybe he's just being quiet about it but actually likes me or he doesn't like me at all and thinks I'm annoying, please help!
Varpu
Monday 7th of December 2020
Hei Finnia! I would recommend just letting him know about your feelings. Most of us Finns aren't that great with subtle hints or cues. Let him know that you're interested. <3 All the best for you two!
Breanne
Wednesday 4th of December 2019
Hello!!! I love your blog. You’re so great! I started dating this very attractive Finnish man a year ago so I have been lurking here to answer all my questions ? I figured I should say thanks at some point!
Varpu Pöyry
Monday 20th of July 2020
Hei Breanne! I'm so sorry, I'm seeing now that I haven't replied to your lovely comment. My apologies! I'm so happy to read a bit about you and I hope all is going well. xx, Varpu