Thanks to the mighty internet and due to my natural background (aka one blonde Finnish lady is greeting you here behind her laptop), I am here to help.
Psst… Add more Finland to your life and follow me on Instagram!
Fear not, as I have a lot of experience of Finnish men and know what I am talking about! Errr… that sentence sounded so much better and less misinterpretable in my head.
Anyway, there are seven things you really should remember when dating a Finnish man. These tips are golden because I know that sometimes the cultural difference feels so, so big.
Let’s try to see things from his perspective before you jump to conclusions. I’m the first one to admit, that sometimes that jump is faster than lightning.
Seven Tips to Remember when Dating a Finnish man
#1 About getting to know you
A Finnish man doesn’t carry a big cultural expectation about how a woman should be. In Finland, women can be whatever and live however they choose. Personally, I feel the only boundaries are those which we women make to ourselves.
So share your dreams and goals of life. Tell him your bad habits (picking your nose, having a specific place for everything in the dishwasher, etc.). He wants to get to know the real you and all sides of you!
#2 About suggesting things
Be proactive. You are two individuals with minds full of ideas, so don’t make him always take the initiative. In Finnish, we have an adjective called “perässä vedettävä.” It describes something or someone who is pulled along behind like a trailer is towed by a car.
You don’t want to be his trailer; you want to be in the car, making the journey together.
#3 About moping around
It is exhausting and annoying to be even in the same room with a sulking person. It just completely sucks all energy out of you. For some reason, we ladies (and yes, I also include us Finnish women) are the experts in this field. As moping is a colossal turn-off, talk the situation through or opt for some me-time and come back spirits lifted.
#4 About holding the purse strings
A Finnish man appreciates that you can take care of yourself and be financially independent. Most likely he has a car, a summer cottage, family and hobbies to pay for. At the start of a relationship, it is common in Finland to have your financial stuff separate for quite some time.
#5 About genuine interest
Ask about his background, traditions, and hobbies. Even better, if you want to try some of the things he loves. For example, a Finnish man may have a close relationship with nature. It might be important for him to fish and hike in the wilderness. Even though this might be a little strange or even scary to you, see if you enjoy it too. In the worst case scenario, you are a bit bored but get a nice dose of fresh air.
#6 About social skills
Many other nationalities must feel that Finns are quiet and reserved. It’s as genuine and inbuilt cultural norm as the total opposite of being a very talkative, loud and touchy person. Neither style is wrong.
Most of us Finns have a need for space and silence, also within our families. I know many Finnish couples who meet each other’s families very rare, maybe a couple times a year. Blending into a more communal culture can be quite a shock for a Finn. Showing support is the best thing you can do.
#7 About glamming up
In some countries, girls are taught that they may meet the man of their dreams on whatever quick visit to the store. Thus, they are always prepared and dressed to kill when they go outside.
In Finland, girls are taught the following: The man of your dreams will probably see you in horrible influenza, when you are too drunk and when you are delivering his babies.
Hopefully, not all at the same time, though. What I am trying to say here is that a Finnish man will, for sure, love you without any makeup or a fancy wardrobe. Most Finnish men say that their ladies are the most beautiful when they are coming from a sauna, all fresh and rosy-cheeked.
Hey, are you looking for more relationship related information about us Finns? Check out some of the other posts:
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Hello there!
I’m Varpu. One blonde,
travel-loving,
Finnish engineer driving this site.
Hi,
Is it normal for a Finnish man to read your text, and not respond to what text is about, and then text you back about something else?
Hei Sorija! In general, I can say that it’s normal in the Finnish culture to read one’s text and reply later when you have the time or a better place, in a context that you are friends, family or in a relationship where you don’t have to guess where you stand. I wouldn’t say ignoring a text is a cultural thing. I hope this helps!
Firstly, I really like your writing style and sense of humor! This was an amusing read. Second of all, I couldn’t agree more! Everything you wrote here is whatever I find sweet about one particular Finnish man. And when I called him out on being sweet, he’s like, “nah, I’m just normal”. I guess moving to Finland will be my next plan xD
Hei Nadja, awwww! Thank you so much!! It means a lot to hear that you liked this post. But, I’m even more excited that you have a Finnish sweetheart! Best of luck and love to you!!!
Finnish men sound like a dream
Hey Adriana! Yes 😀 And luckily they aren’t unicorns. You can find plenty here in their natural habitat. 😉
Well added! I agree 🙂
And don’t be offended by his ‘brutal’ honesty – at least you will always know exactly where you stand and can trust that he speaks the truth 😀