Dating Finnish guys, or hopefully, dating a Finnish man, is potentially miraculous! Are you dreaming of a relationship with him but have no idea how to proceed?
Thanks to the mighty internet and due to my natural background (aka one Finnish lady is greeting you here behind her laptop), I am here to help.
Psst… Add more Finland to your life and follow me on Instagram!
Fear not, as I have a lot of experience of Finnish men and know what I am talking about! Errr… that sentence sounded so much better and less misinterpretable in my head.
Anyway, here’s what I’m going to cover in this post.
Table of Contents
The Best Guide to Dating Finnish Guys
Yes, I very humbly named this post because let’s face it, there isn’t much stuff around about this topic.
A small disclaimer, though. Finnish girls don’t understand Finnish guys completely, either.
I feel that some of the challenges are cultural but other challenges are basic struggles in any relationship.
That being said, I cannot but agree that sometimes the cultural differences are very big.
So, let’s try to see things from his perspective before you jump to conclusions. I’m the first one to admit, that sometimes that jump is faster than lightning. (And here special thanks go to my hubby who has to live with me 24/7!)
How to get Started with Dating a Finnish Guy?
Okay, here is the bad news. In most cases, you must be quite active. If you are waiting for your Finnish prince to realize with intuitive clues that you are into him, he won’t understand them.
Here are some helpful opening lines for you:
- Hei! What’s the best beer to drink here?
- Hei! Do we go to the same gym/class/school?
Note that he could just reply with a yes or no. That’s normal in Finland. Try next a question which cannot be answered with a yes or no. Like:
- What’s your favorite thing to do in this city?
- Could you recommend me some Finnish food to try?
You can do this girl!
What’s it Like to Date a Finnish Guy?
Since I’m talking about Finnish men, it made total sense to do a tutorial video about this topic with a Finnish guy!
So, without further ado, here is Aleksi. He is one tall, handsome and smart Finnish vlogger. Many of his hilarious (and true!) videos are about Finnish culture. You can subscribe to his videos here.
Check our video to learn what’s it like to date a Finnish guy and, in detail, what mistakes to avoid when dating a Finnish guy!
Five Tips to Remember when Dating a Finnish man
Okay, so now we have heard it from a Finnish guy!
Here are my girly tips to help you not to stress about the situation. Finnish guys are adorable.
He wants to get to know you
A Finnish man doesn’t carry a big cultural expectation about how a woman should be. In Finland, women can be whatever and live however they choose. Personally, I feel the only boundaries are those which we women make to ourselves.
So share your dreams and goals of life. Tell him your bad habits (picking your nose, having a specific place for everything in the dishwasher, etc.). He wants to get to know the real you and all sides of you!
Suggest things
Be proactive. You are two individuals with minds full of ideas, so don’t make him always take the initiative. In Finnish, we have an adjective called “perässä vedettävä.” It describes something or someone who is pulled along behind like a trailer is towed by a car.
You don’t want to be his trailer; you want to be in the car, making the journey together.
Don’t mope
It is exhausting and annoying to be even in the same room with a sulking person. It just completely sucks all energy out of you.
For some reason, we ladies (and yes, I also include us Finnish women) are the experts in this field. As moping is a colossal turn-off, talk the situation through or opt for some me-time and come back spirits lifted.
Be genuinely interested
Ask about his background, traditions, and hobbies. Even better, if you want to try some of the things he loves.
For example, a Finnish man may have a close relationship with nature. It might be important for him to fish and hike in the wilderness.
Even though this might be a little strange or even scary to you, see if you enjoy it too. In the worst case scenario, you are a bit bored but get a nice dose of fresh air.
Many other nationalities must feel that Finns are quiet and reserved. It is as genuine and inbuilt cultural norm as the total opposite of being a very talkative, loud and touchy person. Neither style is wrong.
Most of us Finns have a need for space and silence, also within our families.
I know many Finnish couples who meet each other’s families very rare, maybe a couple of times a year.
Blending into a more communal culture can be quite a shock for a Finn. Showing support is the best thing you can do.
The Last Thing You Need to Know about Dating Finnish Guys
In some countries, girls are taught that they may meet the man of their dreams on whatever quick visit to the store. Thus, they are always prepared and dressed to kill when they go outside.
In Finland, girls are taught the following: The man of your dreams will probably see you in horrible influenza, when you are too drunk and when you are delivering his babies.
What I am trying to say here is that a Finnish man will, for sure, love you without any makeup or a fancy wardrobe. Most Finnish men say that their ladies are the most beautiful when they are coming from a sauna, all fresh and rosy-cheeked.
Long Distance Dating
Even if you are not together physically for a portion of your relationship, most of these tips will still apply to dating a Finnish man. Long distance relationships are hard, and often need a tiny spark to keep it alive.
My friend Jasmin has created incredible virtual date night packages to help couples in long distant relationships. I have been in a long distant relationship with a Finnish man in the past and a solution like this would have worked wonders for us.
Keep in mind that when you suggest this to your Finnish partner that, culturally, they may not be accustomed to a scheduled or creative date. Encourage them to keep an open mind and enjoy a new type of romance during your virtual date night.
Hey, are you looking for more relationship related information about us Finns? Check out some of the other posts:
Warm wishes from Finland,
Varpu
After this quick cultural class, you’ll know…
- Why feeling connected with the Finnish lifestyle is easier than you think
- "The Hedgehog" template that makes it super comfortable to start a conversation
- The one question that will confuse both you and the Finns
- How to blend in with the Finnish culture, not that you have to fit in
Did you find this post informative? Save it for later on Pinterest!
Hello there!
I’m Varpu. One blonde,
travel-loving,
Finnish engineer driving this site.
Hey! I’m trying to get a Finnish man but he doesn’t seem to have any interest in me, I was wondering if maybe he’s just being quiet about it but actually likes me or he doesn’t like me at all and thinks I’m annoying, please help!
Hei Finnia! I would recommend just letting him know about your feelings. Most of us Finns aren’t that great with subtle hints or cues. Let him know that you’re interested. <3 All the best for you two!
Hello!!! I love your blog. You’re so great! I started dating this very attractive Finnish man a year ago so I have been lurking here to answer all my questions 😊 I figured I should say thanks at some point!
Hei Breanne! I’m so sorry, I’m seeing now that I haven’t replied to your lovely comment. My apologies! I’m so happy to read a bit about you and I hope all is going well. xx, Varpu
What a great read..I like your sense of humour and your writing skills can’t go un noticed too,I have lived in Finland for ten years and for sure I have experienced almost all that you mentioned above.
I love me some Finns😚
Awww, thank you so much! I’m so glad you liked this post and feel that I was able to capture some Finnish culture here. Kiitos paljon! <3
Hello,
Thanks for your guide, all of them are totally correct 🙂
My name is Mitha and I have a really funny story about my current relationship.
I met this Finnish guy through a chat site about 15 years ago, He is in Finland and I am in Indonesia, He was only 22 and I was 15.
we had never stop chatting by yahoo Messenger and Skype since then, we shared pictures and everything til we decided that we can’t make this relationship works because we live in 2 different continents.
so we stopped chatting after 3 years, then around 2012 we met again in facebook, he tried to contact me and our feeling to each other was still strong, but we were busy with our own things, he was busy with his work, i was busy with my study, we still chat sometimes but wasnt too intense then we slowly stopped talking to each other (again) for years.
So i went to dating site and got a message from someone, and surprisingly it was him, how big is the chance of people meeting each other on dating site while we are living in 2 different continents?
so we chat intensely one more time, and he is not married yet, he is 38 y.o now and im 30, and our feeling are still the same, he still have all my photos from 15 years ago and we have decided to meet in real life as we think universe really have a plan for us, he told me that he felt bad that we cant make it earlier because of his unstable work when he was younger, but now we really make a plan to be together for real.
one thing i know is, this Finnish guy is a man of his words, he is very straightforward, calm and honest, very caring and supportive. I used to think that Finnish guy might be too cold and stiff, but no, he is so warm and lovely.
Hopefully all goes well for us both next year, told him im feeling bad to keep him waiting until i finish my work contract here but he said he has been waiting for more than 10 years so another 6 months wont be a problem 🙂
cheers,
Mitha
Awww Mitha! I have no words after reading your comment. You guys need to make your love story into a book. It’s amazing. All the best of luck and loads of love for you! <3
Hello,
Thank you.. I actually cannot believe that this is happening to me.. Tomi is actually my first love (funnily it was an online relationship).
anyway Varpu, may I get your email? as I would love to keep in touch with you, I would like to keep in touch with you if that is possible 🙂
cheers,
Mitha
For sure Mitha! 🙂
Hello there!
I’ve been talking to a Finnish guy ,almost every day , for 3 weeks,via texting. We seem to agree on everything and share the same interests. He asks a lot of questions about me,but never complimented me in a romantic way or said something that could mean he feels something for me , he just said ‘It’s admirable that you…’ or ‘Too bad there’s the distance between us’ , ‘May i say i really like you and am glad to have bumped into you’ . I have never hesitated to compliment him though. I really like him too but am afraid to say something because i don’t want to ruin this friendship or whatever it is, i really enjoy talking to him.
Do you think he might feel something or he just sees me as a friend and i should let things as they are?
Hei, tnx for your website it’s so helpful :-). I have a question! Recently I’ve met a Finnish guy when we met he was drunk and he seemed so attracted to me. But the day after he was so normal and even seemed not interested in me! Now I’m so confused that is it because without alcohol he is shy but still attracted and want to continue with me or I should think that it was just because of alcohol he made love with me and he doesn’t want to be with me anymore?!
Hei Kimia! Thank you for your comment. In terms of general Finnishness, it could be either one, maybe he is shy or maybe it is the alcohol speaking. You could always ask him if you are puzzled. Lots of hugs and best of luck, Varpu
Ok, I’m moving to Finland now. 😀
Hahhaa! Fantastic Kat!!! <3
Hi,
Is it normal for a Finnish man to read your text, and not respond to what text is about, and then text you back about something else?
Hei Sorija! In general, I can say that it’s normal in the Finnish culture to read one’s text and reply later when you have the time or a better place, in a context that you are friends, family or in a relationship where you don’t have to guess where you stand. I wouldn’t say ignoring a text is a cultural thing. I hope this helps!
Ignoring the text is an obvious sign of not interested…and yeah, it’s depressing but any ideas to make things changed? Maybe, you can make another topic even discussions of how to make a man turns from NO NO to YES YES^^ could be nice to hear it from you 🙂
Hei Lalan! Thank you for your comment! Oh, I’d love to know how to fix that! :DD
Firstly, I really like your writing style and sense of humor! This was an amusing read. Second of all, I couldn’t agree more! Everything you wrote here is whatever I find sweet about one particular Finnish man. And when I called him out on being sweet, he’s like, “nah, I’m just normal”. I guess moving to Finland will be my next plan xD
Hei Nadja, awwww! Thank you so much!! It means a lot to hear that you liked this post. But, I’m even more excited that you have a Finnish sweetheart! Best of luck and love to you!!!
Finnish men sound like a dream
Hey Adriana! Yes 😀 And luckily they aren’t unicorns. You can find plenty here in their natural habitat. 😉
LOL….
Thank you, Judit! 😀 😉
Hello..
İ was wondering is finnish men jealous qnd protective about their lady?😊
Hei Erwa, a good question. I wouldn’t say they are jealous in a bad way, in general. This is a bit of a tricky question because this trait is so personal and there’s not a strong stereotype with this one.
Well added! I agree 🙂
And don’t be offended by his ‘brutal’ honesty – at least you will always know exactly where you stand and can trust that he speaks the truth 😀