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The Best Guide to Dating Finnish Women

Dating a Finnish woman has the potential to change your life. It may be the starting point of a happy adventure.

I’m excited to tell you that a relationship with a Finnish lady is golden. That’s because Finnish women are loving, fun to be with and down-to-earth.

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Here’s what I’m going to cover in this post.

How to Get Started with Dating a Finnish Woman

First things first, I do hope you are planning to date only one Finnish woman. Finnish people don’t understand the concept of dating several people at the same time.

When she finds out that you are having a carousel of women, she will delete your contact details immediately from her phone. That being said, let’s continue. 

So, how to approach a Finnish woman? Honestly, there is no wrong way. Whether you find her on the internet, social media, or local bar, just remember to let your personality shine through. 

Be honest and be real. Finns don’t care for any fluff.

What’s it Like Dating Finnish Women

In general, Finnish women aren’t into playing games. If your sweetheart is hard to read, that’s because she doesn’t want to get her heart broken not because she is playing hard to get.  

Finnish women are outspoken in practical matters. However, sometimes Finnish women have difficulties saying how they feel. In Finnish culture, that kind of communication has a much smaller role than in many other countries.

There’s an old Finnish saying: “Kell’ onni on, se onnen kätkeköön.” A rough translation would be: “If you are happy, hide it within yourself.”

Basically, this means that happiness is not something you should boast about or show off. I know it sounds totally weird but this is true to some extent also in modern Finnish society.  

All in all, I’d say the most important thing to know are the cultural norms your Finnish woman has been raised in.

When you are starting to get to know each other, ask about them! If you don’t share common values about being in a relationship, what’s the point of dating?

Here are some things to consider:

  • In a Finn-Finn relationship, it is super normal that both spouses do housework. Both can cook, clean and do laundry.
  • In Finland, it’s not a problem if the woman makes more money than her partner.
  • In a relationship, many Finnish women show their love by doing.
  • If there are kids, a Finnish woman appreciates it if her spouse takes time off from work to be with the baby. There’s also a compensation system in Finland to do this.

Ten Mistakes to Avoid When Dating a Finnish Woman

A fellow content creator Aleksi and I made a helpful video about our experiences.

When it comes to YouTube, he is an incredibly awesome and hilarious source of all things Finnish, you can subscribe to Aleksi’s videos here.

Check our video below to know the ten mistakes that you should avoid when dating a Finnish girl.

Six Quick Tips When You are Starting a Relationship with a Finnish Woman

Here are the best quick tips when you are starting a relationship with a Finnish woman.

  • Accept long silent pauses in your interaction. It’s okay to be quiet together! You don’t need to talk to avoid silence.
  • Remember to provide a feeling of equality to the relationship. Finland is a country of gender equality.
  • Don’t ever try to take a picture of her unless she is in the mood of being photographed. How to spot that right mental state, you may ask? When she is taking selfies, for example.
  • Romantic gestures are appreciated (even though it may feel like the reaction is invisible).
  • Don’t play games.
  • A stereotype is no real person. Each Finnish woman is unique and so are you!

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The One Thing You Should Know when Being in a Relationship with a Finnish woman

Okay, so this last point is for those of you who are already in a relationship with a Finnish woman.

What should you do, when you get the infamous “Do I look fat in this dress/these jeans etc.?”

This question always comes when you are just about to go somewhere together. You don’t want to ruin your evening. So, your answer must start immediately and without any hesitation.

First, step into the situation with a sentence of distraction: “Honey, I forgot to say earlier that your hair looks lovely like that… / I am so looking forward to our night out; it’s been such a long time…”

Practice your body language and tone of voice to sound genuine (which you are of course). In many cases, the discussion will flow to other topics.

If not, the right answer to the original question is no and always no. Make several sentences of reassuring answers all pointing to no. Your sweetie is feeling insecure, why enforce that feeling?

Let’s consider a situation in which you were silent, hesitated or answered “Yes. / Please don’t ask me that. / [insert any dumb phrase here]”. Wrong move.

The odds are that you will have a miserable night and your sweetheart will mope.

If there is some ‘body improvement’ to be made, you guys have plenty of time to talk about healthy eating and exercise some other time and make it a team effort. Simple, right?

dating a Finnish woman

Long-Distance Dating with a Finnish woman

Even if you are not together physically for a portion of your relationship, most of these tips will still apply to dating a Finnish woman. Long-distance relationships are hard, and often need a tiny spark to keep it alive.

My friend Jasmin has created incredible virtual date night packages to help couples in long distant relationships. I have been in a long-distance relationship in the past and a solution like this would have worked wonders for us.

Keep in mind that when you suggest this to your Finnish partner that, culturally, they may not be accustomed to a scheduled or creative date. Encourage them to keep an open mind and enjoy a new type of romance during your virtual date night.

Looking for more information about Finnish culture and dating Finns? Check my other posts:


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About Varpu
I’m the founder of Her Finland. I love cultural tidbits, aha moments, Finnish folklore, and cinnamon buns. My newest interest is learning bird songs. Read more about me..

Mike Stirewalt

Tuesday 17th of December 2019

You have such an admirable and advanced culture. I found every single point in your video about how to approach and conduct a relationship with a Finnish girl. These attributes are obviously shared by the rest of the culture so my question is . . . how and why do you let the Mohammedans into your country? They are completely opposite your values in every way you mentioned? Do you think you can change them? As long as they kowtow to their idiotic religions and social ideologies, they'll not assimilate and be nothing but a source of disharmony, public expense and occasional tragedy.

Varpu Pöyry

Sunday 22nd of September 2019

Hei Mark, thank you for your comment. I'm so sorry you have been unlucky in love. Relationships are always a tango of two. I'm sure there's a right woman out there for you, all the best!

Varpu Pöyry

Friday 7th of February 2020

Hei, thank you so much for your comment. Each relationship is unique. I do love to talk about these things in general. What do you think - are some relationships issues more about self-awareness than cultural features? I mean that we have to know our cultural background and then it's our self-awareness, love & understanding together with our spouse that allows us to work through the issues and communication challenges that we might have in our relationship?

The praise thing is super interesting. In general, in Finnish culture, it isn't typical to give yourself praises - this is true in all areas of life. For example, in work-life when a Finn has made a huge sale or finished a project brilliantly, she rarely says anything about it.

Lance Campo

Monday 8th of April 2019

Are there strong differences between the reactions from a Swedish, Karelian, Lapp or Finnish woman from Finland, or does your assessment apply across the board? I intend to visit later this year, and would very much like to avoid treating one like the other if this is unwise. I am from New Orleans and have always wanted to visit.

Varpu Pöyry

Sunday 30th of June 2019

Hei Lance, I'm so sorry, I just noticed that my reply is not here for some reason! I am not aware of Swedish and Russian stereotypes or cultures so deeply that I could comment on those. I'm trying to paint a picture about Finnish culture with this article. :) Hope that helped!


Saturday 9th of March 2019

A very useful, practical and fun guide to know more about Finnish women. And great tips to increase your chances when dating. Varpu really has that tongue in cheek lovely way to help us understand Finnish women and their culture. Beautiful!!

Varpu Pöyry

Sunday 10th of March 2019

Thank you Amer! So great to hear that you liked this post!!


Saturday 2nd of February 2019

Unfortunately i didn’t had a lucky experience with finnish woman. A lot of nice and deep words over years, but everytime we wonted to meet, she canceled without any word. That’s realy a pity

Varpu Pöyry

Saturday 2nd of February 2019

Hei Igor, oh I'm so sorry to hear that. The woman of your life is somewhere out there in the world, for sure! All the best, Varpu

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